Nice walk around the Laguna. Kestrel on a tree right beside the path, gave us a great view as it flew south and then west of us to perch in a tree with the sun almost directly behind it. Couldn't see conclusive evidence of gender, but I think it was female because the wings weren't very blue -- but then again when it caught the light just right they *were* kinda blue. New hawkwatch CD: Miles Davis, "Kinda Blue"...? Then one of the kites made a great appearance well within binoc range, hovering over some possible food -- which turned out to be a red-shouldered on a post! So we got a good three-species walk. If you're near enough for an evening trip up here, this seems to be a good spot for consistent kite viewing... I don't know if they're around all day, but the semi-horizontal light at evening helps to bring things out...

Saw lots of hawks. Even managed to id a couple of them. But a great clear day on the hill, a full "real" day of hawk watch. Even though we were seeing a lot, I was worn out. My arms are sore from holding binoculars up. Anyhow, three kinds of falcons, a harrier chasing a prairie falcon, two groups of red tails mixing and screaming at each other. (I think for red tails a "bugger off!" scream might sound exactly like a "hey good lookin'!" scream -- at least I hope so). Also a couple osprey -- we're supposed to record whether or not they're carrying fish, but none were.

I had one really special "apprentice moment"....carefully describing the location of the possible kestrel hover hunting over the bay. (No matter that it's over water -- I don't know what I was thinking -- perhaps it's the first known fishing kestrel!). I got the feeling something was wrong when it hover-hunted over the water for a really long time. When I finally figured out what it was, though, I just couldn't bring myself to call in "one buoy -- no fish!".....

9/7/02: A very mixed day for me today... Got home exhausted, conked out at 10:30, then woke to write this while it's still somewhat fresh.

The group counted an average of 54 birds per hour in a full six-hour day, for some 330 birds. The group saw 10 of the 19 raptor species; I missed the Merliin (and still haven't gotten a good look at a Sharp-Shinned Hawk). Um, we also saw a bobcat hunting in a field far below the Hill - they got it in one of the spotting scopes so everyone had a look.

The "Saturday I" group has been lucky (so far) to have 2 of 3 days clear enough to actually go up on the hill and count raptors -- and to get a prairie falcon on each of those days. Today's PF gave us a really good look, popping up out of the nearest ridge in the north quad and circling around the east within maybe 50 yards.

I struggled with whether I should mention this in a public place, but ultimately I have to believe it will someday eventually be contrasted by something more upbeat, so I will admit here that I personally am somewhat discouraged after this long day.

I'm pretty good at spotting birds and getting others to see them, but I can't ID a bird to save my life. Maybe it's my 8x42 binocs that don't seem to pick up much color - and through which I sometimes feel I'm straining so hard that my eyeballs must surely be poking Warner-Bros-wolf-like out the other ends. Maybe it's my poor eyesight. Maybe it's my hopeless sinking feeling when I'm wrong again for the 20th 30th 40th time. Maybe it's that the classes have prepared me for identifying flattened birds about as far away as the ceiling when in real life they are tiny black spots two miles away. Maybe it's that I get a bit tired towards the end. Of course it's my inexperience. Of course it's a little bit of all of these things. And one big secret they didn't tell us - these birds do not seem to care whether we identify them or not!

After a full 6-hour day I finally ended up just staring off at the sky at specks in the north quadrant where a large number of visiting experts discussed past glories, perhaps deigning to focus on one "interesting" bird over North Slacker; I somehow just no longer had the fortitude to call out another bird that would probably turn out to be a "mere" TV or juvenile red-tail. Or I wander off to sit in the less-popular south or west quadrants with two other apprentices who also cannot confidently ID these specks and who ultimately just end up talking about other things.

The accipiter ID test is not supposed to test ME (but they still call it a test and it still is, and I am just completely wrong, and I don't even know why I am wrong). At a certain point, too, it seems that every bird I call out is one that was "probably" already counted (though not necessarily officially "passed" to my quadrant).

Part of the discouragement is my own personality, and I do recognize and fight it (I have had two "moments," following quizzes and the above-mentioned test, where the two-year-old in me has kicked and screamed and cried and quit), but I do hate to be wrong and I do hate to not know if I'm right or wrong, so: without going into too much detail, a good expert in my quadrant - and not too many of them! - can make or break my whole day.

If you've stumbled onto this site as someone who hasn't done the hawkwatch (or who is in the first/second/third/tenth year), please take this with a grain (no, a TON) of salt -- note that this is the 2am rambling of a middle-aged, nearsighted person who has also probably completely killed his memory with various chemical memory-killers over the years. And this is only my second week of "real" hawkwatching.

Also note that there are little victories here and there, and I do feel that I'm progressing in my ability to tell a red-tail from my ass on the ground, and that I DO believe I will post more positive stuff by the end of the season. If you're in the Bay Area and interested in hawks, the GGRO IS the place to learn, staffed by fantastic people whose enthusiasm IS infectious, and whose love for the birds IS carried on their sleeves, and who put a LOT of energy into making this thing not only a successful bird-count, but an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

On the drive home, there were red-shouldereds on both ends of Stony Point Road - both showing slight nnoyance with raised feathers at the back of the head, exactly like my amateur drawing. Even when I think it's for the birds, I do remember it IS for the birds...!

I invite anyone who is in the 2002 GGRO Hawkwatch to drop me a line if you'd like to participate in this blog. I'd love for this to show a more balanced picture of the experience...